The American Bar Mitzvah Celebration – Part Two
The typical American Bar Mitzvah celebration proceeds as follows: First there is a cocktail hour for approximately an hour. Butlered hor d’eurves are often served as guests circulate.
Then guests are ushered into a room where the main celebration takes place. The guest of honor’s family is presented and the candle-lighting ceremony begins.
The candle-lighting ceremony is an innovation developed by the DJ community; not part of Jewish religious tradition, as some believe.
Its function is for the Bar Mitzvah child to pay tribute to the friends and family that shaped him or her into the young man or woman that she has now become. The guest of honor reads a tribute and asks significant people in his or her life to come up and light one of 13 candles. As they come up they are accompanied by appropriate music played by the DJ or band. This is followed by the all of the guests joining in circle dancing to traditional tunes.
A meal is served, either sit-down or buffet. This is interspersed by dancing for all and games for the children. Often there is additional entertainment such as a caricature artist or two as well as favors for the children. Bar Mitzvah celebrations in this format generally last 4-5 hours.
There are other variations. Some families choose to hold two separate celebrations. One is a shorter luncheon oriented towards family and adult guests. Later there is a separate gathering of the Bar Mitzvah age guests in a more casual location (and a higher decibel level). The latter boasts louder dance music generally provided by a DJ. It is chaperoned by the Bar Mitzvah parents perhaps assisted by a small group of adults.
The advantage here is that each event is oriented more closely to the needs of each group.
Occasionally a Bar Mitzvah celebration will take another tack altogether. One of the most charming celebrations I attended was a Bat Mitzvah for a girl held in her Temple following her Shabbat service. A sit-down luncheon was served. The girls numbered approximately two dozen.
They were provided with a separate table with quilting squares and asked to design their own squares. I provided caricature entertainment. The guests had a wonderful time. The girls were absolutely charming. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves and were well behaved.
In summary, the Bar Mitzvah celebration marks the time that the Jewish boy or girl becomes an adult in the eyes of Jewish law. The religious component is observed in the rituals performed at the Bar Mitzvah’s Shabbat service. The reception afterwards is a thoroughly secular affair and gives the guest of honor’s family and friends a chance to come together and celebrate the happy occasion.
